[NB: I found this tidbit of writing from mid-tegretol withdrawal in Feb 2006. At that point, I'd gotten off of zyprexa and klonopin, and was still on Lamictal. It is hard to believe 2 1/2 years have passed since then]
Sometimes I find a piece of myself I didn’t even know I lost.
I’m down to 200mg of Tegretol. Down from the 1000mg I’ve been on since October of 1998–that’s about 7 1/2 years. I’ve been tapering down since mid november.
Over the last month or so, I’ve noticed that I laugh more. When we watched Garden State a couple weeks ago, there was a scene where the main character is wearing a shirt made out of fabric with the same design as the wallpaper in a really overdecorated bathroom. I started giggling and I couldn’t stop. I would sort of stop and then I’d think about the deadpan look on his face and I’d be off again. I felt like the laugh was just bubbling up out of me, and there was so much more of it there. Then that would get Agnes started, which would make me laugh harder.
I remember laughing like that before–when I was young. I thought I grew out of it. Everyone gets more staid as they age.
I don’t think I’ve laughed like that in 7 1/2 years.
mmm….I totally relate to this as such things happen to me almost daily…new feelings, thoughts, sensations emerge….
I bet you’ve laughed that way many times since then, huh?
I loved Garden State…LOVED IT! Bought the awesome soundtrack too!
Laughter was one of the things I lost to over-medication, too…I remember my sense of humour was one of the first things to come back when I quit the meds–that and my ability to cry. I hadn’t even realized it was gone until it came roaring back (although I’m sure my husband did!).